Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Update

one of those embarassing pics your parents always get
horrible isn't it? this is better than yesterday!!
when you can't hear them cry and they finally do, it's the best sound you'll ever hear!!!
grandmommy stealing my ava awake time :)
my sweet baby

she stayed awake for a good hour today

she's got the sucking part down
mom....... leave me alone!!!
and the next step is to swallow honey :)




my little angel...


drink it baby drink it :)
looks painful, lol, i don't think he was ready



Hey everyone, it's been a while since I posted a blog... our computer went capuit, however that saying goes. It's back, 40.00 later, hey better than 100.00 like last time I guess. So Ava's doing super great. Well other than her horrible rash which I'll get into later. They've taken her IV out so now the only tubing she has is her feeding tube. It's so much easier to hold her now! I don't think I've put her down for more than a min. since I've been able to hold her. This is def. the true meaning of love at first sight!!! Oh we get to dress her now too, yipeeeee! I haven't taken any of her super cute clothes up there though because you have to write their name in them plus I don't want them to get lost. We're saving those for shopping days with mommy! Well maybe, but that again is another story. I'm trying to think of what all has happend since last time I wrote and I can't remember, ahhhhhhhh!! The doctors moved Ava's feeding tube up towards the top of her stomach vs. being down in her intestines. They also moved her feedings up to 21 m.l. She's on continious feedings for two hours and then off of it for one hour. Until tomorrow that is and it'll be just the oppisite. The whole point in doing this is to hopefully make her realize hey I'm hungry and take the bottle. So far we've had no luck. She just hasn't had anything but tubes in her mouth so she's not really quite sure as to how to react to this weird thing with wet stuff coming out of it. Hopefully soon though. Once she's taking her feedings and there are no leaks (hopefully), and she doesn't have much reflex (again hopefully) then they'll start talking about sending her home. I can't wait!!! Onto Ava's poor little booty. She's had a rash for a few days. Probably from the antibiotics... anyway it's not going away, grrrrrrr. They've tried diff cremes and nothing seems to work. Today they let her butt air out for a little bit and that seems to be helping some. Well yesterday I about had to put my foot up one of the nurses you know what. I get to the hospital and Ava's soaked. She's little there's no way she peed enough to soak threw a onsie, two blankets, a diaper pad thingy, and a sheet if she was changed when she was supposed to be. I understand babies pee threw things all of the time but when a baby has a rash as severe as hers you should be checking her a little more often. (which her primary nurse does a good job, she wasn't there yesterday) So I grab the closest nurse I see (the old BIA) to change her (they have to weigh it) and she wipes her, doesnt blot or pour water wipes her. I was HOT! There was no poop even just pee. She was screaming and then I look at the diaper and there's freaking blood on it. GRRRRRRRRR! I'll post a pic. of it today. Well Eric just made dinner, so I'm off to eat. Oh and btw I changed my mind on ever having another baby, my boobs and belly are killing me!!!! Oh and I've had half of Christa's family tell me I'm fat still. (her brother loves me)
this drain/ chest tube was taken out saturday, i guess i forgot to write that. that's why we are now able to hold her!!!! she loves her bink like this, too funny!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

almost 30....

Well I'm 4 years from 30 today, ahhhhhhhhh!!!! I thought my mom forgot because she didnt do her yearly 5 in the morning calls. She's lucky thoug hshe just called at 10:30, hehe. Grandma you're running a little late. Did you forget? So much for your birthday reminder book huh? j-k!!! Anyway I'm actually looking foward to 30, never thought I'd say that! I'm so happy with my life right now I know it's just going to get better. So bring it on :) My birthday wish is to feel normal again!!! Yes I know it's only been a week since my surgery but I'm over it. I think I had a touch of the baby blues a couple nights ago. I was getting out of the shower and just started bawling. My belli and everything, I mean everything is so swollen I can't stand it. I'm better now though, my crying episode only lasted about 15 min. :) Eric walked in the bathroom and laughed at me. Silly man doesn't he know you don't laugh at a post baby, baby blues woman, hehe. My boobs... oh gosh, I forgot how bad those things hurt! Why didn't anyone remind me? Not to mention how hard they get, it's like a rock. They look really BIG and fake right now. I mean I know they're fake but they really look fake, lol. I at least am on pain medicine, I feel for you women that weren't!!!!

So I just called the hospital, well I've called them 3 times since we left last night. I think they're getting used to my 3 am calls, they're starting to know my crackly sound like a man voice. That must be from the surgery too, I never used to sound like this when I woke up! I sound like Kristi Lane! Anyway about Ava. They increased her feedings... they add 2 m.l. every 12 hours, so this morning she's up to 7 m.l. Yesterday her jaundice level was at 13 so they went ahead and put a light over her. She should be off of that tonight or tomorrow. All of her bloodwork is still coming back normal. The "syndrome doctor" (thats what i call him I forget the real name for it) came by yesterday, he wants to get a better look at her when she doesn't have the tape on her mouth. He doesn't think she has any type of syndrome though, it's just some random thing that happend to her. I asked once again if it was something I did and they assured me it wasn't. You can't help but feel that, I mean they're growing inside of you, ya know? This also isn't something that would happen again if we have another baby. It's not genetic at all. This morning they took her off the ventilator. YAY!!!!! So far so good, her stats are in the 90's. They also laid her on her belly and she tolerated it! That's super good considering before when they moved her head a certain way she'd have a silent fit. She must not be hurting as bad now :) No more silent fits, we now will get to hear her cry! I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I just want to hold her. Soon Soon Soon. Everything is moving along so fast and she's doing so good. I just hope it continues this way. The power of prayer is amazing!!! They are going to do a "dye test" Friday. Basically they put dye down her throat threw a tube ( I think) and they do an x-ray to make sure it's not leaking out anywhere. If that goes well they will start talking bottle talk. Oh and I almost forgot, my baby is showing personality all morphined up and all. I got her to calm down and fall asleep by stroking her little head yesterday. I almost cried. I guess I almost cry at everything. Every day she opens her eyes when I talk to her I get teary-eyed. Babies really are little miracles. It's so amazing to think that you carried that little person inside you and then to look at them now . I mean she could still be in my belli, so crazy to me. Don't worry mom, this doesn't mean I'm going to go have a few more (ahem Christy) j-k seester! But I don't feel like I'm finished yet. I figured this would deff be my last, but I think there's a little boy left inside of me. After we're married of course ;) No more Angelenia Brad Pitt instances for us :)

Well Diana is downstairs making blue-berry muffins for me (God bless her, hehe) so I'm going to go scarff. Happy Birthday to me. Then I'm going to go spend it with my little angel. I'll post more pictures tonight, I just got a couple of them yesterday when we were there.(well maybe tomorrow my mom and dad are taking me to dinner tonight and then coming up to the hospital so it'll be a late one) Todays will be good ones though. NO VENTILATOR :) Can you tell I'm excited?

Oh and something funny I wanted to share with everyone. Christa took the boys to a parade the other day. Well Dawson comes up to her and tells her he has to go to the bathroom. She figures number one, he can wait a minute. Well then he comes up and tells her he "has to poop, really bad" and that he's willing to go behind the bushes, lol. So she packs up all the kids and takes him to the gas station, well then he says, "It's probably dirty I'll just wait till we get home" ha! my sweet sweet boy. :)

ava's day nurse made this for her... so sweet
ava's little area
her tanning bed, she loves it! she wants a day at the spa w/ mommy already

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

pictures

ok well its still not showing the pictures until i hit post. it's just a bunch of letters so I can't write under the pictures. Christa.... isn't her hair in the back pretty? :) I had to take a picture of her first poop! Well not the first but the first one I saw!!!






Tuesday, July 22, 2008

the saddest thing

So we're sitting at the hospital right now and I just had to write down possibly the saddest thing EVER. I know all babys cry when they're unhappy, yes I realize that, but to see your baby cry and not being able to do anything about it is the worse thing EVER! Realize that I said see not hear. She's on the ventilator so when she crys all you see is this poor baby screaming with no sound turning beet red, shaking, watching her heart beat go sky high and knowing there's nothing you can do about it but go get the nurse and let them do their job. You see Ava needs suctioned out, and now that's she's getting more strong and staying awake for a while she needs suctioned out more often. I was sitting there writing in her baby book and something told me to look over. She was doing the crying thing. The nurse came over and suctioned her out. Well Ms. Ava is developing her own little personality. She was telling us her dislikes!!! She deff. wants her mouth suctioned out first. She does not like all of those frothy bubbles in there. The nurse now knows to do that first. I can't stand it, it takes every thing I have to not break down and cry every time. I know it's not forever and I'll hear her crys soon, but it's so so so hard. I can't even put it into words. Ava stayed awake for about 45 minutes today when we got here. I love knowing that just my voice alone wakes her up. She knows her mommys voice :) She knows Erics too. She stayed awake for so long my ankles were starting to swell. I finally got a stool to sit down. She just stared and stared and stared. It was the sweetest thing. The only bad thing about that is she gets so worked up she starts to get more stuff in her mouth and needs suctioned out again, that scares me. The nurse says it's good though that she's staying awake longer and moving a lot. It shows that she's getting stronger. I took a couple new pictures of her today. She's a tad jaundice so she looks like a little mexican baby in one of them, lol. I'll post them when I get home this evening, or else tomorrow sometime. Oh and Christa... I took a picture of her beautiful hair in the back... just for YOU! The doctor also mentioned today that there was a little tiny bit of blood in the left side of her head. She assured us it's nothing to worry about, it won't get worse, and it won't cause any type of developmental delays or anything like that. Sounds scarier than what it is I guess. It goes from 1 to 4, and hers is a one. She couldnt tell me when we could expect her home but she said it prob wouldnt be a couple weeks but they hope it will be less than a couple months, so we'll see. I think she's going to show them and it'll be sooner than later :) We still can't hold her. The feeding tube was placed in her stomach during surgery and if it gets moved (by her nose) it could come out and that would be bad. So no holding for I'm not sure how long. Well I'll keep everyone posted.... and again I'll post some new pictures here in a bit. For some reason it's not letting me post pictures right now, I'll try posting under a new blog and see what happens??? It just shows up as a bunch of letters everytime i try to post them, weird!!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Our baby girl is here

My hand doing the weird thing
BIG brother and BIG sister
She's here everyone!!!

Kelli and Christa got their arm work-out, they were helping me not throw up


Beautiful baby Ava
Look at my skullet :)

First time I got to changer her diaper :)


My beautiful cankles












Dr. Dad








One more last belly shot





Hey everyone sorry its taken me so long to get back on here and post pictures of baby Ava. So we went to the hospital Thurs around 7:30 and by 9:48 am had a baby girl. She is the most beautiful baby EVER. Don't we all say that? I'm not neive though, the first picture I saw of her I said she's not very cute is she, lol. Seeing her in person though is totally different. She really is a really pretty baby. She weighed 4 pounds 13 ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long. Long baby huh? If I would've delivered at full term I may have delivered a toddler. Oh and she has hair, ha Christa! We knew she would though. She does have a skullet though. FOr those of you who don't know what that is it's a mullet without hair on the top. LOL She has her fathers hair line :) She doesn't have much hair at all on the top but her sides and the back are full!!! She looks like her daddy right now. Who knows what she'll look like next week though, they change so much. The c-section was a little scary for me. Mostly because I knew my baby was coming out and I couldnt protect her in my belly anymore. I asked the dr. if he would throw in a free tummy tuck but it was a no. My hand kept doing something weird everytime the blood pressure cuff would go off, that was weird. I almost threw up I don't know how many times. Good ol' blood pressure dropping again. Now I know why they tell you not to eat. Ava did good though. They let Eric snap a quick picture of her then they took her back to be worked on. She was crying full force they said. Of cours my daughter will have a set of lungs on her!!! I went back to recovery while Eric took the grandmas, fam, Cicka, and Kelli back. Finally after an hour of recovery they wheeled my bed over by Ava's. Love at first sight!!!! What am I talking about I was in love with that little girl before she ever came out. I actually remember the fist day it happend. I was sitting outside talking to Christa on the phone.... Anyway after recovery the nice gay black man wheeled me up to my room. I called him "my wheeler" And YES you know it, just after having surgery and all I didnt care, I snapped a picture of the nice man with Christa and Kelli standing next to him. LOL funny, yes I know! After looking over Ava they saw that she had the esophaegeal atresia w/ a fistula. They also found another hole in her heart. This one is a lot smaller and is between the two upper chambers. It may close on its own. She also has an extra rib and a little curve in her spine. They said the only thing that may cause her issues with is arthiritis when she's older. There's nothing they do for the extra rib. Basically everything will be fixed though. The doctors did the surgery on her stomach/esophogus Friday. Everything went well with that, actually went a little better than expected. They were able to connect everything in one surgery. Next week they will do an ultra sound and see if it needs opened back up a little. (common in these surgerys) If it does then it will require more surgery. We had a little scare Sat. night. Her heart rate dropped when they were suctioning her then went sky high from the stress. They switched her pain med. and got that all worked out. They were worred about a few other things like white blood cell count and high potassium but after two tests those came back ok. No spinal tap for my baby now!!!! OK so Sunday can we say one of the hardest days of my life? I'm sure I will have a lot of those with little Ms Ava. Well they had to kick us out. My grand ol' hospital stay had officially came to an end. It was bittersweet for Eric, he was ready to sleep in our bed but didn't want to leave "A.J." I on the other hand was a complete mess. I would have slept on the floor next to her little "bed" if they had let me. My nose was stuffy all night from crying so hard. I knew it would be hard but you don't realize how hard until that time comes. I can't even put into words how I was feeling... It's something you can't understand until you've been threw it. To come home without my baby girl... well you mise well had put a knife right threw my heart. I woke up at three in the morning and called to check on her and she was doing great!!! I called again at 6 and she was still doing great :) That's my little fighter, my strong girl is what I whisper to her before we leave. We spent all day at the hospital today, she was doing really well. She actually opened her eyes for about 15 min. which she doesnt do. The nurse said that was good, great actually, it means she must be feeling a little better. Everytime Eric or I talk to her she trys to open her eyes. It the most precious thing!!!! Oh I have officially experienced the meaning of cankles btw. I'll post a picture. I think I may have done a little too much today. I have no ankles and my legs and feet are so swollen. They look horrible!!! I am in some serious pain, I felt better in the hospital I think. I can't wait to walk normal, and to go to the bathroom, oh let me tell you about that. It sucks, I need one of those handicap things in our bathroom. It takes me a good 10 min at the least. Who knew it was so hard just to pee? I didnt realize all of the things you use your stomach muscles for. I could go on and on but I'll spare you. I just can't wait to feel normal, that's all. Poor Dawson and Aryssa weren't able to see Ava. Apparently we have to have their shot records. Nice no one told us that before huh? They're only allowed to stay for 15 min. in the nicu though. Dawson's pretty upset about it. Well my eyes are starting to droop, I'll write more about tomorrows visit and hopefully have some updates on the baby. Oh one more thing, we were able to hold her Fri. before her surgery. That was possibly the best feeling I've ever experienced! Oh and we got to change her diaper today. Of course when Eric was changing it I wasn't over there with my camera :( She peed all over the place, hehehehe. That's my girl ;) Oh and she's have liek 6 poopy diapers, yipeeeeeeeeeeee! For those of you that don't know the reason I'm yipeein is because they were thinking that there may have been a blockage and that would have required a few surgerys on her butt and stomach. Untill tomorrow.........

Its not letting me write under these pictures, but they're all of beautiful baby Ava Jae Grace Ramos.